The nights had gotten longer, more lonely. She wasn’t sure what to do anymore. The little in side of her was slowly fading away. Try as she might to pull that sad, scared little girl back home. The little girl ran away and hid. And she cried, oh god how she cried. Her only rock, the one who showed her the way out was not around anymore. The little girl didn’t know why he left. Just that. He Did. And now her body was broken again. She pleaded with God “Please let him come back. I will be good. I promise!” But even as she said the words she wasn’t really sure what she had done wrong to make him go away. So she tried again “Please let him come back. I will adore & love him for always!” And again she realized that she had been doing that since they found each other. So she wailed silently. Curled up tight in a ball of hurt, fear, rejection. She knew that he told her he would never leave her but she was small & fragile. Not at all like the big girl that everyone else saw. She wanted to be more like the big girl sometimes. Strong willed, confident, someone to look up to. But she was still so vulnerable in all ways, she was not capable of those things. She needed guidance & it never seemed to come forth. The two girls fought over it. One saying “let him go sweetheart, we need to find another. Someone who will be there for us when we need him to be. Not when it’s convenient for him.” Kicking, crying, screaming her little girl heart out “NO!! NO!!! NO!!!! He is OURS and we are keeping him! I don’t care how bad it hurts at least it’s an emotion of some kind we can feel.”
Sometimes giving up control can be so liberating…
(Source: tinybabeinthewood, via xspanked-masters-petx)
